About | The List Girl

About Me

Who am I and what is this?

Hi, my name is Natacha and I am Portuguese but was raised in the UK, in Hertfordshire to be more precise. I moved back to Portugal in August, 2022. I taken a plethora of different courses, purely for the fact that I enjoy learning and couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I have an Extended Diploma in Art & Design (Interactive Media). I took a course on Animal Management. But finally, ended up getting a Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy, English Literature and Creative Writing; hence all the books and deep topics spread about all over my website.

- I was diagnosed Autistic at the age of 12.

- I'm very artsy craftsy.

- Avid coffee drinker.

- Enjoy reading and writing.

- My favourite colour is yellow (if you couldn't tell).

- I'm extremely nerdy.

- I love animals so much that I don't eat them.

- Devoted to the pursuit of personal growth.

- The L in LGBTQ+.

- Striving to become a YouTuber.

- My co-morbidities include; Anxiety, Hypochondria, OCD, Dyscalculia, IBS, Hypermobility, Asthma and Depression.

"The only journey is the journey within."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

My Diagnosis Story

I was only diagnosed with Autism when I was 12 years old. When I was a child my parents always thought there was something... different about me. I would always play alone. Was way too “proper” and “mature” for my age. I was always getting into “trouble”. I either stuck rigidly to rules or not at all. I had little to no awareness of safety. Was always obsessed with one topic or another. And was highly independent, often feeding and caring for myself Matilda style. I was taken from psychologist, to psychologist, to psychologist ever since I can remember (I am way too accustomed to therapist offices now) as my parents wanted to find out why I seemed so different. It wasn’t until high school with my “aggressive” behaviour and “acting out” that I finally got my diagnosis. My mother at the time worked with special needs children and had taken a course in a variety of special needs but still struggled to see it in me until a staff member at my school pointed it out as a possibility, then the pieces started to fall into place for my mum. The first week after my diagnosis was somewhat of a relief, a wave of understanding came over me - I finally understood why I felt different to others, why I was constantly confused, why no one seemed to understand me, and why the other kids used to pick on me at school. The weeks/months following after this, however, were not so relieving. Because realisation hit -THIS is why others pick on me, why I’m constantly confused, and why I stick out like a sore thumb. And self hatred hit hard. I spiralled into my first depression and started to cause myself physical harm. It took several years to finally accept myself. And it was only then, that my desire for researching my disability, and attempting to understand my way of experiencing the world, finally surfaced. Since then, I’ve wanted nothing more than to share as much as I know and understand about Autism as possible, make resources attainable, and make the world a more accepting place for Autistics like myself.

Cause and effect

Being Autistic I LOVE researching and learning new things, constantly searching for the next topic that will spark my brain into hyperfocus that fills me with dopamine. This love for exploration, research and mental and personal growth, means that I LOVE creating lists, and this blog is all about my adventures, experiences and one of my most cherished lists of all, my bucket list. I shall go through my life attempting to accomplish these goals and as I do so, each accomplished goal will be attached with either photos or videos. There are 1,000 goals on my bucket list for me to achieve and I would really like it if you followed me on this adventure. My list comprises of both short and long term goals. I'm hoping that through my list, I'll able to prove to myself and to those around me that the pursuit of happiness is found in the moment, that it is not found worrying about the future, or hurting over the past. I'm hoping that this journey will help me grow and find my place within this big beautiful world. I'm also hoping that as I go through life I can find ways of reaching out to others and uplift them using my experiences. I know life is tough, and I feel like we face trials not only for our own personal growth, but to use that growth to help build others, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

67290619_10162370153485221_8971108769106755584_o_edited_edited_edited.jpg

28071075_10160403198235221_6221304767306109745_o_edited.jpg

What inspired me to write my own bucket list? Well, when I was about 15 or 16 years old, I was struggling a lot with college (the English version of college, which comes before university), and I was also going through some trial difficult situations. Situations that no teenager should ever have to experience. Life was tough and I was slowly breaking.

I was sat on the sofa one afternoon just switching through my favourite channels looking for something to watch. I clicked on to MTV and there was a show on called "The Buried Life". The show was all about these 4 guys and their conjoint bucket list, at the time, I didn't even know what a bucket list even was. They were travelling around America in their refurbished vintage bus completing the goals on this list that they had created. These guys did some crazy stuff. Stuff that they never even thought they would even have been able to accomplish. But, at the end of each episode, they were happy, and they felt fulfilled. I wanted that too. Their show was so inspiring I started a list of my own.

It was to be a personal sort thing, something just for me to go through my life with. But, I decided that I wanted to share the progress I was making with the world, so I created a blog. As I grew, my list started to grow also, and I now have 1,000 things on my list of things to do before I dire, which is a basic definition of what a bucket list is. A few years later I switched over from Blogspot to Wix and ended up creating a website, which to be honest, I think is quite the upgrade.

My list is here to help me grow and develop and to make me publicly accountable in order to push myself and make these things happen. I've always been rather lazy and slightly pessimistic, but, since this list got me pushing my life into motion I have definitely felt a change. That change has made me more optimistic, more positive, more productive, happier, and looking forward to the future and what is to come. My personal philosophy is this, life can really suck, but, if we sit around and allow bad things to stay bad then we are neither living nor are we helping ourselves in any way. In order for your life to be substantially happy we need to keep moving, we need to keep doing those things that we feel are completely impossible, like beating the odds, and taking control of your own destiny. we get to choose where our lives take us, so feel free to join me. Follow my journey, or even better, write a list of your own and set off on your very own adventure.